Okay, your profile was great. Seriously. I had much lulz. Aside from that, not much to say. Oh wait, 
your personality speaks to the asshole in me. I mean that in a good way, I promise. I added you on AIM 
also because I just have to know what it's like to talk to you. 

In other words, if your profile is really how you are. If it is, I think I could have a lot of fun talking shit 
with you, irregardless of any sexual (in)compatibilities between us. Not that I can actually foresee any 
of that shit, other than that you might be into bondage or some shit, of which I have never tried and 
am not particularly interested IN trying. 

Oh, and I have no piercings to speak of, which is probably a deal-breaker in its own right, but I find my 
face (and yea, my body) beautiful, and it doesn't require any additional adornments to be complete. 
Not only that but I hate holes and scars, which piercings have a bad habit of doing to you. And I don't 
have any tattoos, mainly because I know there isn't a thing in this world that I like long enough to 
warrant labeling myself with for any extended duration. That, and, like I said, I'm already perfect, bitch.

Oh, and I like board games, too. But that's in my profile, amazingly. My profile is, for the most part, 
devoid of any real sense of character. I did that half on purpose, because I, perhaps erroneously, 
figured I could snag me some more tail if I didn't force any demands on my personality. This also stems 
from the fact that I enjoy a variety of personalities, such as the one which I am giving you now, which is 
altogether different than any personality I've given to anyone else... Save perhaps for one of my good 
friends Matt, who I frequently make penis jokes with and remind him of how good of a time I had with 
his mother last night.

And hey, perhaps I billed you wrong. Perhaps you find this whole message disgusting, in which case 
you won't even reach this retraction, having already deleted the message. But here it is, anyway, just 
to add a disclaimer that I'm not always about swearing (okay, I admit I do swear a lot) and giving shit to 
people, but it is one of the many facets of life that I do enjoy on occasion (on a daily basis, really). Of 
which I am fortunate enough to be able to satiate my thirst for this with the aforementioned friend, if 
need be, but I would definitely enjoy having a larger palette to choose from.

So, there. If you enjoyed that, enjoy. If you didn't enjoy that, oh well, I'm sorry, I hope we can still be 
friends. If we can't be friends, eh, you're gone in like six weeks anyway.